I also like to throw the occasional stone at The Quietus, if only because their Britishness is often overwhelming in a way that makes me feel slightly punchy*, but this particular essay is mostly true. I have no stake in what happens to hip hop as it wallows in its hair metal denouement, but autotune and dancehall seem like a perfect match to me.
My own version of that article would skip AutoTune and jump directly into British rappers, as in “No Brits – and perhaps no Europeans – should ever rap in public.”
The sidebar would be a transcript of a prank call to The Spaceape asking how many shillings a year he gets paid to mumble about his grocery bills. (I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all but holy mother of fuck is he ever a musical shit midas.)
* As in “wanting to punch something”, not tired. But if you needed an indie rock and pop and a little bit of whatever source to read on the internet, you’d be hard pressed to do better than they.